Fall

What you loved and what you strove for,

What you dreamed and what you lived through,
Do you know if it was joy or suffering?
G sharp and A flat, E flat or D sharp,
Are they distinguishable to the ear?

- H. Hesse

I usually stay indoors now and days,

Ive seem to lost my touch for wanting to be out doors.

Although this passed Saturday I jumped to the opportunity to rack leaves.
I find myself wanted to run back to my childhood, of course because things back then were
so simple. I remember when we used to have this huge tree in our front yard, every fall it
would cover our entire hill with various shades of red, brown, orange, and yellow. My father would tell us it was our duty to make sure he could see only the color green. The rack was bigger then we were, yet there we were trying our best to clean it all up. I remember how much we despised it and how it took forever and for what? So that more could fall down again. We would eventually give up and jump into the pills we had already made, throwing the leaves as high as we could.
So now here I am 21, the rack is no longer larger then me and I no longer despise the falling of those leaves. It was amazing to see how they cover the entire lawn, just like snow.
With every rake I cleared the ground for some more to fall.
More attempts at raking and the leaves kept falling as though mother nature was teasing me.
It only made me smile this time and took me back to those simple days when I was a child.
The light breeze only made it better, the leaves just kept on falling. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes shut. I felt a strong connection to those leaves falling.
Change I thought.
Change, I rake, you fall, I rake, you fall.
I spent so much of my time in my thoughts, working through them.
Trying to avoid them,
Trying to fix them.
I kept telling myself it would only be a matter of time..
Time would bring on that much needed change.
Yet here I stood, raking up the past and leaving space for change.
The seasons where changing and time, time that I very much ask for was granted to me.

It only took my true and complete observation.