Me

I've always been so caught up trying to figure out my thoughts.
Listening really hard to the way my mind moves from one thought to another.
I wish I could say I appreciate the fact that I take so much time to hear myself out,
but I don't.
I'd really prefer to be caught up with the noise of traffic on the busy 495 highway.
No matter what time of the day there always seems to be heavy traffic.
I used to jog on a path adjacent to the highway all summer long.
There use to be this spot,
Two trees and a wooden bench on the side of the path.
I would just sit there and watch the cars drive by.
Some at a fast pace and others at a much slower one.
I'd let me thoughts run races with each car.
Some days I attempted to stick to the simple thoughts,
Thinking how I was going to pay off my credit card bills,
What I was going to cook for dinner,
but seeing those cars drive by I couldn't help but to have my thoughts race
to the future.
Where will I be? Who will I be?
If the future wasn't enough, I would race back to the past,
Why did I do that? Why do I feel like that?
I think to much.
I'm tired of thinking, it gets me no where.
I sit there stuck on that wooden bench watching cars drive by.

In three or so days I've had everything fall into place,
Not really what I wanted, honestly what I need though.
For the first time in a long time I felt free.
Just me.
I've been struggling with situations in the past.
I've hurt her time and time again,
I've hurt her so many times I don't know how to go back and fix it all.
But it just hit me,
The best way to fix it is by letting her go.
I thought I let her go a long time ago,
but I really hadn't, I still held on to her as comfort
I lived off the fact that she had so much love for me. That they had so much love for me.
I never gave them anything in return, I just took there love and had it give me that high I needed.
Now its just me and I can breathe.
I feel brand new.
I don't want to lose this feeling.

I yearn to listen to some deep tunes,
I have a feeling that I wont be thinking so much of anything anymore....

Current Tune: Slow Dance - John Legend

*Girl, I just wanna slow dance with you....*