Roses

I like red roses, white ones too.
Chocolate?
I 'd prefer a basket with fresh strawberries.
I never meant to hurt her.
That really was not my intention.
We first met in September, I was really young then.
I remember every detail, down to the white coral necklace she wore that day.
The field was ample and smelled of freshly cut grass.
I was just like her,
When we are thrown into a new setting with new people we tend to seek those that we most resemble.

She was like me and I was like her.

I prefer my roses with thorns, its a pleasant reminder of how beautifully complex life is.
How can such an alluring creation hold such a hidden pain?
As a child I used to pick roses.
I remember my first rose.
It was a dark red shade, fully bloomed.
You could see the tiny white veins in every petal, only if you looked really hard.
I reached for it right away,
convinced this captivating image was mine to have.
I grabbed the stem hard and felt a sharp pain in my finger tips.
The captivating image of the rose soon began to blur as tears filled my eyes.
Looking down at my finger tips I noticed a similar color to that of the rose, it was then
I knew that beautiful things could cause harm.

She was like me and I was like her.

We stuck together during those days on the field.
We became close and I tumbled into her warmth and smile, convinced there was something strong.
She seemed so lonely to me and all I wanted to do was take her pain away.
But really it was I that needed her.
I had pains of my own,
My resolutions to them always involved the flow of the color red from my left or right wrists or forearm.
I thought I had the answers to it all.
My simple escape and release of my pains.

She was like me and I was like her.

She cared for me beyond anything I ever could expect.
She gave and gave and never stopped.
I became her secret undiscovered treasure.
I thought I was in love.
It felt good to be adored, to be loved and to be the universe to someone.
Thing is I didn't understand how to correspond.
Instead I quickly found interest in another love, then I just became open to any kinda of love.
Years went by, to be exact two and still she stood strong.
Promises I would change and love her right ; kept her holding on.
I was overcome with everything I'd become to her.
I knew I really wasn't in love, I was in love with how much she was in love with me.

She was like me and I was like her.

I never meant to be the reason she would cry endless nights.
I never meant to be the her one single hope in love and I never mean to crush those dreams at all.
I tired my hardest to love her, but I knew the right thing was to let her go.
Let her find someone that would love her naturally and wholeheartedly.

She was like me and I was like her.

I have verses and feelings I cant express now.
I find myself in love and on my knees beginning these feelings to part from my thoughts.
I have sleepless nights,
I have tear-filled nights,
I have hopeless thoughts,
I never expected this new distant shadow to enter my heart and produce emotions I never thought I could feel.

She was like me and I was like her.

Now we both suffer and someone should really cue Justin Timberlake...

I like red roses, White ones too, Thorns please because she was like me and I was like her.


*Random Thought- I really do like strawberries, grapes too. I'm really tired, but oddly content. I suppose its faith. Things might not be the way I'd like them to be but I can see clearly the signs that everything will fall as it needs too. I suppose I just find myself a little anxious to get this master plan on a roll. I need to stop and realize its alright rolling.
There was a much older gentleman on the bus today. He was so beautiful. When his large over sized glasses fell down his nose he would pout his lips to the left and proceed to raise them back into place. I miss my grandfather. I wanted to walk that gentleman home and cook him warm chicken soup, then have him tell me all about what the world was like when he was young. Then maybe he could recommend some unknown fascinating novels.

Current tune: Offically Miss You (Remix) by Tamia ft. Talib Kweli